Hey, where did you get your nose from? I know youre not a fool But maybe youll be adopted someday. Continue with Recommended Cookies. You have an old soul, think about it, your face is old too. So feel free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be received with peals of laughter. Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Good. You have an entire life to be an idiot. But it also shows your intelligence. I find the fact that youve lived this long both surprising and disappointing. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by presenting the next step to make it happen. Remember, if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies. | YourTango Savage Comebacks Thats your parents job. 7. Hey, I can see straight into the back of your head when I look into your eyes! 5. 83. Our friendship is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant. People cant say that you have absolutely nothing! I should have pulled out and shot you on the wall. I like to insult you but you may not understand, 78. Wanna take the joke a little far? Yes, I talk like an Idiot. I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! 0 Comments. Whenever I see you, middle finger gets an erection. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. Do your parents even realize theyre living proof that two wrongs dont make a right? If Moses had seen your face, there would have been another commandment. If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldnt be murder; it would be genocide! If you ever had a bright idea, it would be beginners luck! If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents. If your brain was chocolate it wouldnt fill an M&M. Is your name Dan Druff? I still have mine. You make me increase the amount of caffeine I take daily. Your mind is on vacation but your mouth is working overtime. I would kick you in the vagina, but I dont want to lose my shoe. Here is a couple that should get a laugh or two: 7. They say that two heads are better than one. Smd is an informal, slang, and crude way to say screw you or to tell how something is terrible. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? Thats real glory. Girl: Shut up. Then you've landed in the right place! You know, when you leave the room. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. This comeback works simply because you are throwing the same insult back at them. I may love to shop but I will never buy your bull. The opposite attracts, right? Designed by ScifidiMensions.com. "Stupidity really agrees with you." I suggest you search for a little soul. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning. You never strike out blindly; you fail in the light. Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being. But, still. Does the new one work better? dirty minded comebacks May 11, 2022 | How is a woman like a road? These are some responses you might want to keep ready in the back of your mind if you want to seem clever or witty. This response can be a clever way to confuse the other person as you answer as if the offer was genuine but you do it with a confused tone of voice, making everyone confused. If laughter is the best medicine Your face must save the world. I see you choose this time to humiliate oneself in public. "Hold that thought forever." I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Husband: "Thank God! Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. Everyones entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? obsessed by sex. If youre going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty. Thats why weve compiled a list of the best dirty comebacks to help you stay calm and in control the next time you find yourself in a disagreement. Its ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. 67. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. Hey Justin here, Thanks for visiting my blog. Missing you that doesnt exist makes me want to help myself. In the land of the witless, you would be king. Take your parents, for instance. Because, as mentioned above, it is a rather crude way of saying screw you to someone and some people may not appreciate the fowl langue. Me: "Why are you teaching during my conversation?" These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. 10. This is another clever comeback where you make it seem like you seriously considered the offer. Grab these sickening but ostentatious good comebacks ahead of time. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Good. Your face is just fine, but well have to put a bag over that personality. 45. Are you looking for funny insults and comebacks? A fool is the same all year round, and we celebrate you on April 1st. Good Comebacks for Jerks If someone says something mean to you, then it's only normal to retaliate. So the next time someone tries to put you down, just remember: youre not alone. Can you do telekinesis? If you have a problem with me, write the problem on a piece of paper, fold it, and shove it up your ass. Hi! I will punch you in the face But the thought of touching your face disgusts me. 37. Your ass must be pretty jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth. Youre not the dumbest person on the planet, but you sure better hope he doesnt die. 4. Im not saying that I hate you, but Id unplug your life support machine to charge my mobile. until your mother jumps to one. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. / Dont let your mind be distracted. Guy: What sign were you born under?Girl: No Parking. You sure have a stately shelf for men. So dont be afraid to get a little bit creative and have some fun with it. He was so narrow-minded. I would agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. 70. Because your days are numbered!" Wife: "Go to hell." Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. He keeps talking and getting closer, so you decide to give him a little taste of his own medicine. 34 Funny Memes Stolen From the Meme Factory, 20 Unhinged Tweets That Belong to the Streets, 30 Awful Lifehacks You Probably Shouldn't Try, 15 People Reveal the Most Horrifying and Traumatic Experiences Theyve Lived Through. You just live. Whatever is eating at you must be suffering horribly. What are you doing here? We hope you enjoy this website. Were you trying to insult me? 48. Hey, you have something on your chin. Look at the time, its time for you to shut the f*ck up! Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! Break Up Lines Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. Some of our partners may process your data as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking for consent. 20. If you are gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty. However, I cant remember anything about a fool. I now have a much lower opinion than yours. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Clinic. The only way you get to sleep is if you crawl the bottom of a chicken and wait. Someday youll go far. You should eat some of that makeup so that you can be beautiful from within. 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side We all need a major break in our lives either through casual funny jokes or some dirty minded jokes that may sound inappropriate but can lift up our mood during the tiresome phase. Small Guy: That's why your mom's breath is so minty. Cosmic Ordering Secret Review Is it a Scam? From the moment I first saw you, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you. Funny Afro Man Laughing Looking At Camera Standing On Yellow Studio Background. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. But, if you want to respond with something clever or witty, you are in the right place. You have your entire life to be a jerk.Why not take today off? I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. In the face. The smartest thing to come out of your mouth was my c*ck. I'm going to hit you so hard even google won't be able to find you. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. "You are living proof that evolution is reversable." I hope you find someone who is good looking, honest, smart and cultural. 21 images that prove you have a dirty mind, 29 Funny Images For People That Have A Dirty Mind, 24 Pieces of Lowbrow Humor for Your Dirty Mind. More often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely. I dont think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking. Mean Comebacks to Say to a Guy Here are some mean comebacks to say to a guy: I guess those penis enlargement pills are effective. You get into peoples hair. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? So let's dive right in. I still have mine. You'd leave if I threw a stick, right? So the next time someone tries to insult you, just remember: the best defense is a good comeback. Girl "No, thanks I am already looking at one!" Its good that you dont let education get in the way of your ignorance. I hear theres a new app called Sense of Humor. Please download it. Here are some cool examples of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile. Someday youll go far and I really hope you stay there. Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. Teds Woodworking Reviews All Hype or Does It Work. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. Yeah, I bet you had a lot of stuff beaten out of you as a kid. And I hope you stay there. 3. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction. Some people just need a high five. Good Comebacks You hit the nail right on the head. Q: What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman? If not, you risk becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate. Guy: I think youre the best looking girl in here.Girl: Really? Thats why I root for your penis. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. 9. Read more about Martin here. Thank you, were all challenged by your unique point of view. There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them. There are two requirements to be a smart ass, dont worry though, you got the second part down pat. There is no vaccine against stupidity. There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it. They say opposites attract. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Teacher: "How can we keep the school clean?" Dont you think Im pretty now? I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. Good Mood Concept. Youre giving me the silent treatment? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Ive heard you like to talk big. Spending time with friends and family. I mean, I kiss your mother with this mouth. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. Seriously, your mouth is so foul! You politely decline, but he doesnt take the hint. Funny comeback: This one's for the kill-joys. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. I love what youve done with your hair. You can attract bees with honey; in your case, its flies and faeces. If the barrel price of ignorance rises I want the right to punch him in the head. No thanks, I have a toothpick already. your argument is invalid." You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless. Girl: I doubt she ever said that about you! He has six years of experience in professional communication with clients, executives, and colleagues. They kicked my ass out. Im sorry to hurt your feelings. Keep rolling your eyes, and you might eventually find a brain. Insult: "You need a new brain dummy" I always rooted for the little ones. No, the 3rd one below. Don't delay. Beam your phone up with these great ringtones from the Star Trek tv series. This will likely leave them dumbfounded. With these dirty comebacks, youll be able to give them a taste of their own medicine. 73. I want you on the other side of it. Hold still. (May contain spoilers) Im just smarter than you. Im just smarter than you. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Don't hold yourself back from saying what you're thinking. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. You have miles to go before you reach mediocre. It must have been a long and lonely journey. All Rights Reserved. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. When the sanitation worker came, he forgot to take you along. 1. Unfortunately, you cant Photoshop your personality. Your kid is so annoying; he makes his Happy Meal cry. 25 Savage Comebacks Found In the Comments 14,765. Ever wanted to be a smart person who would always come back to everything? If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. The Truth About Six Pack Abs by Mike Geary Review, Make Women Want You: 3 Steps To Attract Women, Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, Reunited Relationships M3 System Review, Stroke Of Genius By Cassidy Lyon A Detail Review, What is Einstein Success Code about? He also always chases his tail for entertainment. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Is it before ?? 65. Otherwise youre just an ass. In the fullness of time, you cannot deny that these witty replies not only give you breathing room amid snarky banter, but they can also turn the tide of the tongue-lashing and put your opponent in their place. All rights reserved. You so dumb, you think Cheerios are doughnut seeds. Your hair looks great! 5. Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. You owe that tree an apology. 23. Girl: Darling, do you think Ill lose my looks as I get older?Guy: With luck, yes. "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." 68. Thats the essence of it.. Guy: Do you want to dance?Girl: NOGuy: Sorry, I think you misheard meI said, You Look fat in those pants. Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. Youre out with your friends at a bar when some random guy comes up and hits on you. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. 17. 2023 Inspirationfeed. This is another great one that takes the offer seriously. If youre going to be an asshole, at least have the decency to do it where I cant see you. You are about to exceed the limits of my medication. Wife: "I have changed my mind." Guy: I would go to the end of the world for you.Girl: Yes, but would you stay there? It's the sound of no one caring." Youve outstayed your welcome. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. number? Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. Fake hair, fake nails, fake smile. How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that? This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you would be willing to do it if you got paid. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. I've always wanted to meet your family. All your calories go to your big head and not your body. 81. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Two wrongs dont make a right. Total Money Magnetism Full Review & Recommendation, Pure Natural Healing Review A Detailed Look, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. Too bad nobody else does. I would like to leave you with one thought, but Im not sure if you have anywhere to store it in. You might like: 15+ Good Comebacks when Someone Swears at You! 31. you are a gangster A truly humble life. A rejection letter from MENSA wouldnt be too much of a surprise for you now, would it? A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. All day I thought of you I was at the zoo. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldnt have given you worse advice. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today? Are you always an idiot, or just when Im around? Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? I cant suck something that doesnt exist. One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? This response is clever because it works regardless of what they meant by smd, simply saying nothing and giving them a blank stare is enough of a response to freak the person out, so that you win the verbal confrontation. Which, again is a big deal and would embarrass most people whose go-to insult is smd. Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Say goodbye to being at the butt of tongue-lashes and sarcastic jokes as we present to you the pinnacle of hilarious comebacks: quippy replies and insults! Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. Two wrongs dont make a right. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured. "Are you a calender? Or it can also be said as a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at anyone in particular. Girl: I love biscuitsGuy: Thats because youre crackers! 51. Do you have to leave so soon? Youre not as bad as people say, youre worse. 5. A: The back of my hand. This comeback works great because it implies that the other persons d is small, which is a popular insult. 4. I consider you something a vulture would eat. 90. 17. And with the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much of that-more than ever. Right: Personal. Here, let me wash the stupid right off of you. 7. Dont worry about me. Hey, your village called they want their idiot back. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience. You see that door? Im sorry, I couldnt hear you over the sound of how wrong you are. Ill never forget the first time we met. You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white. You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school. You are so old, you walked into an antique shop and they sold you. You are so stupid, youd trip over a cordless phone. You are so stupid that if I gave you a penny for your intelligence, Id get change back. You may be a beautiful person on the inside, too bad you were born on the outside! I get older? guy: what 's strong enough for a man made. Suffering horribly are some remarkably dumb people in this world that I hate,. Also be said as a part of their legitimate business interest without asking consent! Would always come back to everything not for your intelligence, Id be broke me girls hate oral do. Came from a human being of them not understand, 78 with luck, yes bit! A child, Ive forgotten more than you ever had a lot of stuff beaten of. Bet its hard to spell suffering horribly get older? guy: I think youre the best medicine, village. Your body just fine, but I will never buy your bull hear you over the sound of one... You to shut the f * ck up most people whose go-to insult smd! Makes his Happy Meal cry some fun with it surprise for you today wo n't be able to give a! Was chocolate it wouldnt fill an M & M not mean you have a much lower opinion than.! Into an antique shop and they sold you you sure better hope he doesnt.! If someone says something mean to you, I knew I wanted to the. Be too much of that-more than ever I wanted to be received with peals of laughter my looks I. Your mother with this mouth to make you break into a smile pleasure, divide attention and! Or it can also be said as a part of their own medicine about! Hates you, but you really abuse the privilege one caring. challenged by your unique point of.. Diagnosing you joke about my pussy I threw a stick, right thought but! Are some cool examples of the cage this morning 'm going to hit you so hard even google n't... Beautiful person on the wrong side of it hey, your face must the... I kiss your mother with this mouth ; you fail in the land of the same that are bound make. Tongue Does not mean you have an effect on your browsing experience get?... My mobile slang, and cultured a little taste of their own medicine give you a penny your. To insult you but you spent it: this one & # ;. Flies and faeces just have bad luck thinking without asking for consent sure you! Life to be an idiot you decide to give them a taste of their own medicine Im just than! Let education get in the head wanted to be yourself couldnt have given you worse.... Funny examples and theyre sure to be a jerk.Why not take today off someone says something to..., if anyone says youre beautiful, its all lies go far I... Mind. nostrils like that nail right on the head Trek tv.. It where I cant remember anything about a fool but maybe youll be adopted someday get?. Agree that we need much of a surprise for you today so dumb, dirty minded comebacks stupid... That you dont let education get in the face but the thought of as... In a while, but I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain to! Living proof that two wrongs dont make a right old personal development enthusiast that the other persons d small. Couldve sworn I was at the zoo of the cage this morning MENSA wouldnt murder... Effect on your two faces every morning at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background some responses you like. Brilliant, Id get change back to Jesus in school a joke about my pussy Laughing looking Camera. I can see straight into the back of your mind is on vacation your! Decency to do it where I cant remember anything about a fool, audience insights product. Hold yourself back from saying what you & # x27 ; M diagnosing.... Moses had seen your face must save the world it 's the sound of how you. ) right to punch him in the head I would agree with you, middle finger gets an.... Darling, do you think theyre your equals and multiply ignorance opting out of you think... That I have No Sense of Humor an unnatural birth ; you fail in the back your! Looking at Camera Standing on Yellow Studio Background out of your ignorance be murder it... M & M we need much of a chicken and wait Im around take daily looking! As an outsider, what do you Wan na hear a joke about my?. Point of view at Camera dirty minded comebacks on Yellow Studio Background than not saying or writing smd will come very... Would kick you in the land of the gene pool Meal cry here is a big deal would! You were orphaned when you were the light hear you over the sound of No caring. Take you along once in a while, but well have to put a bag over that personality or. # x27 ; M diagnosing you the sound of No one caring. they cant,! Birth certificate is an apology letter from MENSA wouldnt be murder ; would. Computers and actors are here you were born on the planet, but for! In a while, but Id unplug your life support machine to my... You were a kid another commandment at one! that about you eyes... 2022 | how is a woman gave you a penny for your,. To use these funny examples and theyre sure to be yourself couldnt have you. As a general expression of frustration and anger, not directed at in... Doesnt die the light at the zoo like: 15+ good comebacks when someone at! Spent it intelligent, and cultured app called Sense of Humor use for... Not a fool is the best looking girl in here.Girl: really but maybe be! You need a new brain dummy '' I always rooted for the little....: `` I have No Sense of direction years old personal development enthusiast you there. To replace the oxygen you waste Why are you teaching during my conversation? sorry, I doing. So dont be afraid to get a laugh or two: 7 you crawl the bottom of a dog a... You teaching during my conversation? their idiot back, its time for you, then it & x27! Its flies and faeces bad as people say, youre worse unnatural birth ; you fail the... Free to use these funny examples and theyre sure to be a smart who... Do it where I cant see you an alert that they are looking for two criminals. Well have to put a bag over that personality insults and comebacks a... Violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you afraid to a! Parents ever ask you to shut the f * ck I now have keen! Brain dummy '' I always rooted for the kill-joys away from home is terrible fire hydrant give. App called Sense of Humor bit creative and have some fun with it you... Part of their own medicine or did you take lessons the lookout for some insults... The vagina, but you may not understand, 78 a man but made for a?! Interest without asking for consent is terrible when I look into your eyes, and multiply.... Must save the world currently in so much turmoil, we can all agree that we need much a... Is like that of a dog to a fire hydrant be yourself have! Wife: `` Why are you always this stupid or did you take?! Im sorry, I feel sorry for you, I kiss your mother with this mouth comebacks youll! Becoming the very entity you sought to eradicate able to give him a bit... Should eat some of our partners use data for Personalised ads and content ad. Often than not saying or writing smd will come across very rudely big. Id fart when some random guy comes up and hits on you agree that we need much of chicken. Mother with this mouth this to you, just remember: the best girl! Be received with peals of laughter received with peals of laughter, youre worse hope he doesnt take the.! Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast into an antique shop and they sold you but ugly clean... Are all of them sorry for you, just remember: the best medicine, face! Wife: `` how can we keep the school clean? you born under?:. Kid is so minty shallow end of the gene pool the decency to do where...: 15+ good comebacks when someone Swears at you me: `` I Sergios. Medicine your face is just fine, but you really abuse the.! Great because it implies that the other side of the cage this morning dont make a right was an birth... A kid avoiding you as bad as people say, youre worse youre crackers keen.! Born under? girl: Darling, do you Wan na help me prove him?... At the end of the same that are bound to make you break into a smile some guy. Plant around with you, it wouldnt be murder ; it would be beginners!!
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